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Hi, I am a solicitor working in a big firm. In the middle of the pandemic I started to drink more than I usually would have. At least a bottle of wine a night. This has started to interfere with my life somewhat, in particular my personal relationships. Work is going fine. I don’t think I have a problem and I have everything under control. However, important people in my life say they are worried about me.  I believe they are over-reacting but I’d like a second opinion.

Many thanks for your question and well done for taking the courageous first step of reaching out and seeking guidance and advice. In your statement, I hear you questioning if you have a problem with alcohol and struggling to answer this for yourself. Hopefully the following will be helpful in this regard;

Addiction is a complex issue, and assessing it involves not merely looking at the amount of alcohol consumed (as what is problematic for one might not be for another), but rather assessing how one’s drinking is impacting their daily functioning and the people around them.

In your statement you say that your drinking is negatively affecting your life, and in particular is negatively affecting your personal relationships. You also state that important people in your life are worried about you. These are important indicators that your relationship with alcohol is unhealthy and needs some attention.

You seem to realise that you are experiencing negative consequences as a result of your drinking, but yet your drinking has persisted. This is also a sign that your drinking is problematic. Generally speaking, if we engage in something and it has a negative effect on us, we stop. However, in addiction a core defining feature is that one continues to drink despite experiencing negative consequences as a result of their drinking.

I also notice from your statement that you believe your loved ones are over-reacting, and that you feel work is going fine and everything is under control. There are real discrepancies between these beliefs, and what you report in the rest of your statement. It would seem that you may be struggling with admitting to yourself that you have a problem, which is quite common in addiction. Denial is in fact a core feature of addiction, and often serves as a psychological defence to protect one from feelings of shame associated with their drinking. It is therefore quite common that those close to the individual become aware of the problem before the individual themselves does.

Lastly, it would seem from your statement that your drinking increased during the pandemic, which is interesting. I would suggest you think about the function that alcohol is serving in your life, i.e. is it to manage stress, loneliness, boredom, etc? Knowing this will help you better understand your relationship with alcohol and will assist you in figuring out what coping strategies might be most beneficial to you should you decide to make a change.

In weighing it all up, it would seem that there could be cause for concern as regards your alcohol use. I would suggest that you contact your GP to discuss the issue in more detail. It may also be helpful for you to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting (details available on ). This will allow you to hear of other’s struggles with alcohol and hopefully identify with them. Lastly, Addiction Counsellor’s of Ireland () have a registry of available therapists in every county should you wish to explore professional help.