Handling difficult conversations
06/01/2022 16:43:48Dealing with irate calls from clients can be challenging for a number of reasons.
I am a solicitor in family practice and sometimes have to deal with challenging phonecalls from clients who are irate. Although I am very clear on the correct course of action, I find it hard to know how long to let them vent and how to calm them down so that I can move the conversation forward and solve their problem.
Dealing with irate calls from clients can be challenging for a number of reasons. As you say, it is hard to know how long to let them vent, it can be difficult to isolate the issue if the caller is emotional, you may not have an immediate solution and it is hard not to take the anger personally.
During training I have facilitated on this topic, we share some general tips to overcome these:
- It is important to listen – even if you think you know the answer – suspend judgement and listen
- Take notes - To help with effectively listening – this will help in capturing important information and provide a record of the discussion
- Stand up – many people find it helps them to stay cool and confident if they stand up. As your voice is projected in a different way, it can certainly help you to take control of the conversation
- Ask questions and take a problem-solving approach
- Focus on what you ‘CAN’ do
- Offer options - this turns the focus to solutions and away from the problem once acknowledged
- Remember it is not personal. The person is irate for a reason. They are asking you to help them. It may sound like a personal attack – however, it is generally a result of what has happened to them. Put yourself in their shoes. If you imagine the caller is a family member and they are looking for help, it is a good way to tune in – The Grandma Rule.
As regards the structure of the conversation, we recommend following the HEAL technique.
This relates to: Hear the client, Ease the tension, Act to improve the situation and Leave on a positive note. If you follow the four steps, it will make life a lot easier for you when handling challenging client calls. The most important step, and the one that is most often omitted is the E – Ease the tension i.e. empathise.
Many people forget to empathise and let the person know that they understand. If we do not acknowledge the human emotion, we cannot proceed to doing business. If, for example, a client says to you: ‘I am very angry that …..’, it is critical that you acknowledge the emotion presented. So you would say: ‘I understand that you are very angry….’. This gives you permission to move forward. If you don’t acknowledge the emotion presented, the person will either repeat it again until you do, or their emotion will escalate, making it more difficult to handle them.
In an extreme case where a caller is very abusive and uses threatening language, you can implement the 3 Strikes Rule. This involves politely asking the person to refrain from using threatening language or behaviour. If it continues, you repeat the warning and on the third occasion, you can let them know that you are terminating the call.
If you do handle irate calls, be sure to be kind to yourself afterwards. You can share it with a colleague, or take a walk, have a drink of tea or coffee or just take a break to unwind afterwards.