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I am a solicitor, practising now for 15 years, working in a small firm. At the moment, I am finding it hard to cope. I look after and care for my elderly and sick parents while also trying to keep my job as a solicitor.  It's like I have two jobs. I am just so drained and I can't afford to stop working to solely look after my parents. Any advice is welcome.

Being a carer is not an easy thing to do. It's very normal to feel tired and stressed at times. Even if you are happy to be a carer, it can be a very hard job. Here are a couple of things that might help.  

• Get organised: Life can suddenly become very busy when a loved one becomes sick. Make lists so you know what needs to be done and can ask other people to take on certain jobs. Have regular family meetings so that everyone knows what’s happening and is working together. 
• Know your limits: Don’t feel you have to do everything on your own – it's okay to ask for help. Make sure the work of caring is shared out fairly. It’s a good idea to share out the work from the start, so that you don’t get worn out and keep a little time to yourself.
• Look after yourself: When someone you care about is unwell, all your attention may be on them. But it’s important to remember to look after your own health and wellbeing, so that you can cope with the demands of being a carer. Looking after yourself includes eating well, taking regular exercise, getting enough sleep, getting health problems checked out and checking in with your mental health regularly. It's important to have some support to turn to when you are tired and stressed. Try to plan outings and meetings that don't involve discussing your loved one. It's okay to need a break. Sometimes it feels like looking after yourself is just another thing to add to the ‘to do’ list but remember if you don’t look after yourself, you’ll be no good to them.
• Coping with your emotions:Feeling negative emotions doesn’t mean you love the person who’s sick any less. But it’s important to recognise and manage your feelings.Otherwise, feelings can overwhelm you and make you irritable, resentful, depressed or unwell. If you are feeling tired or unwell, not sleeping well, losing your appetite or if you are tearful or angry or finding it hard to cope, tell someone and get some support sooner rather than later. Talk to a friend or family member or go to your GP.
• Be kind to yourself: Being a carer is a wonderful achievement, giving so much of yourself to help your loved one at a very difficult time in their life. If you have a tough day, remind yourself of this. Being a carer isn’t always easy – you’re doing the best you can.

This question and answer are hypothetical and written by Aoife McNamara, Information Development Manager at the Irish Cancer Society. Any response or advice provided is not intended to replace or substitute for any psychological, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice.

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LegalMind is an independent and confidential mental-health support available to solicitors and their dependants, 24 hours a day, and can be contacted at 1800 81 41 77.